AH its that time of year.... everyone rushing aroudn to buy the people in their life a gift,like its the most important thing in the world...i hate this holiday,this materialistic fucking holiday,where all those greedy twerps get what they want.encouraging them to write lists of what they want,to ensure theyll get it.What the hell are you folks teaching your kids????This world is already money obsessed...now your making your kids the same way,meanwhile there are people fucking sleeping on the streets,people who cant go to a fuckin hospital and get their gang green leg amputated and get proper care for the sickness they have,while you watch them in disgust as you drive down the road to buy a fucking nintendo wii for the little brat at home who you know will play it for a week or two and then just get bored with it,meanwhile your spending that money on it anyway,even though you feed,cloth,and take care of that kid in general every single day.People think they are doing such a good deed donating non perishable food items....why not start like.... an adopt the homeless fund or some shit like that... hell if i had my own place id let some bum stay with me....not like i have much to offer anyway but hey..its a place to stay,and food to eat,and a place to shower... id do it,i should convince my dad to ...anyway x-mas is just complete bullshit anyway,originally a pagan holiday then stolen right under their noses and made into some religious worship of material goods... First day of winter today..why not celebrate the seasons instead... solstices!! We need more people to celebrate with.... i dunno what im doing today to celebrate the winter solstice but ill do somethin..ANYWAY...in conclusion christmas sucks,im being forced into seeing people id rather not... and cant see the people i want to...stupid distance... and grr... AND it hurts not being able to see those girls.... oh and did i mention christmas sucks..i remember when i used to believe in santa and had that "holiday spirit" crap..w/e...only thing good about christmas is that itll end soon...id rather spend my christmas with the select few of my family and friends.. id have like.... some kinda party...with my brother and my dad,mom,pam,tay and jeff ,james,paul,jan,and of course whitney.. ha ha wed dance all night and worship the moon and somehow id find a way for it to be in a warm tropical place...flowers everywhere,moon shinin bright,stars twinkling,ocean so still its like glass,awesome tunes and the people i love...perfect xXx mas to me man...*sighs*ill do that one day....itll be kick ass..and an xXxmas everyone will always remember.

they wont let me back into my old school.. which means I'll either have to go to another crappy highschool or wait a little while and find some sort of adult ed crap..
this past week was just fucking hell... i feel like shit.mostly emotionally.. as usual im lonely... and im getting sick (my throat is killin me) think about people in my life and wonder if what they say is true,if there are any meaning behind those words.We all know the words,i shall not repeat them for all to see,just let you all think about it....in fact just contemplate them tonight in your warm beds while you fall asleep.my head hurts,i feel like im falling,i wish that i would sometimes...just continuely fall...the rest of my time.my friend just left after a rather short visit,she left today at like,4:00pm... i hate good byes..i know ill see her again...but its over before it begins when she visits...I was thinking about someone else the whoel time she was here.. and i feel bad for it,but the mind wanders where it wants to,i had fun with her,ended way too soon... and now is the big come down i guess.... ill stop now.

It seems it has gotten warmer outside,and i actually have things to do today so I'm happy about it.... and the fact that i can finally wear a skirt without freezing my ass off,with my luck all the wind will blow right up my skirt..but I'll take my chances.I have to work tomorrow*pouts*..no sleeping in till 1 pm either heh...5 more days until Pamela comes to Winnipeg...five more days until i have to deal with her boyfriend as well(dammit)...i guess im excited to see her or else i wouldnt be counting down the days.*sighs*....hopefully ill get to spend some alone time with her...anyway... i saw my brother yesturday*does happy dance* we had to go to the mall and get my mommy's christmas present.I hope she likes it.... she was all sad because no where in the city had her favorite perfume..Jason and I tried to find the right one... But instead we found one that smelt like somethign she would like....so i hope she does..got some crazy free bad thingmy with it and everything... i made my brother keep it at his place...so i hope he doesnt lose it.I would have taken it if i wasn't planning to go see my ma at work.I saw one of my friends on the bus yesturday as well... she seems to be doing well with her new boyfriend and such,I'm happy for her.I've decided I'm going back to school after christmas break...when the second semester starts.... that way ill get somethign done...i was thinking about taking one calss at a time..that way i can finish them quickly... my mind doesnt do well when i switch topics and try to focus on them for 30 min. i need awhile to focus and such.... or else i just stay unfocused for the whole day...anyway....yeah..thats all thats going on in my world.Other than a few creepy guys being all creepy and wierd and trying to get me to go out with them and such... no nice guys..all the assholes.... im a creep magnet apparently.BLAH!!!
alright im out for now
-Kitty

10 more days until pam comes...for htose who dont know pam is my best friends... or was.. or soemthing... i dont know who she is anymore.... she has drifted and become distant..or maybe its just me.and since its been on my mind lately i may as well get this outta my head.. it seems to me someone hasnt mentioned the fact that i even exist in their life... like im the secret that will never be told.. and i am havign trouble not being frustrated with it... anyway....my hair purple now!... and i have the coolest touque in the whole wide world... as to be expected from me its a cat... ears on top and everything... its not purple (damn) but its uber cool.... thats right i said uber.... UBER... yesh.. stylin touque indeed... im tired.. and havent eaten..stupid work being so damn boring... anyway i havent gotten a chance to scan anything ive drawn lately.. so i will get them on here eventually.... anyway yeah..bed time.

Tonight I'm missing people i know i shouldnt be missing,and wanting to do things i shouldnt be doing.Ah yes tonight is a night to rebel so my body says,though i have no opportunity to do so.As for the people...well... hwat can i say,one of them,no matter how much i wish..i will never be able to talk to again,the other lives in another country.Why do we horrible creatures always seem to want what we cant have?...its so we have somethign to work towards...somethign to live for,in our otherwise meaningless existence....as some would say anyway,im one to believe that i am here where i am,right now in life to learn..learn somethign from everything i do and experience... and take what i learn and apply it to my life,to better myself as a person....man do i have a long way to go though.And lately it's frustrating...and i just want a break.I know running away from things doesnt do jack shit,which is why i dont run,but do i have to feel such pressure all the time?..i want a break from the overwhelming pressure,even just a day...but i suppose thats why pressure is there...to push people into taking action...whatever..